Are brutal – worse than Monday mornings for me. We work late every Wednesday night as the Student Ministry Pastors at Bayside of Citrus Heights. The better the Wednesday night, the harder it is to drag tired bodies out of bed Thursday morning. Last night was a great night at The Hub (our High School ministry). Bobby preached a powerful Illustrated Sermon and we had a guest worship team that rocked it.
Last night was awesome, therefore, this morning was brutal. I think that it is very wrong that the more tired I am, the less patience I have. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I think an extra storage of grace should automatically kick in when I am over tired – like adrenaline does when you are in shock or afraid.
From 6:30 am- 7:30 am, I have one goal: get the boys to school. Preferably clean, fed, clothed with packed lunches in hand. Each child has a few morning chores they have to do as well. This morning it was Justin’s turn to feed and water the dog. He was being extra ADHD this morning, or at least I felt like it he was. These are the mornings when I am tempted to just do things for him rather than hound and follow him from one task to the next because he WILL forget what he is supposed to be doing (at least until the meds kick in and that isn’t until he is safely at school).
(“Discipline your children while you still have the chance; indulging them destroys them.” Proverbs 19:18 MSG was echoing somewhere in the back of my tired mind).
Halfway through the morning, he was still shirtless! It was agonizing to watch him slowly put on his shoes and socks. Finally, he was ready. I reminded him to feed the dog. I watched as he got the scoop, filled it, walked over to the bowls and (now in slow motion) watched him slide all the dry food into the water bowl.
Yes, it was that kind of morning. I am proud to report that I didn’t fly off the handle or yell and scream at him (I did all of this in my head, though) He fixed it, we gathered everything up and I took the boys to school. That hour feels like the longest hour of my life. Okay, maybe I am being a little dramatic. I get dramatic when I am tired. I know you do to.
“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (Romans 8:26-28 MSG)
What are we waiting for? We are waiting for the fulfillment of God’s promises. The day when faith becomes sight and heaven breaks out on earth. We are pregnant with purpose and blessed with God’s vision for our lives. It keeps us going and growing. The enemy might taunt you with “that day will never come” or “you will never grow enough to be good enough”. It is a lie – that is what he does, he lies. Until that day comes, we have a God who doesn’t expect us to be perfect beings but to be human beings.
On Thursday mornings, I don’t always know how to pray or even have words. That is okay, I can lean on God’s Spirit to help me out. He knows my condition and gently reminds me that God is present, not because I am perfect but because I am loved. It is the grace I need to know that there is no way to be the perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.
That is when I can laugh at the dry dog food going into the water bowl and be thankful for the chance to train up a child.
I hope your Thursday is blessed with God’s grace, that you lean on His Spirit if you are tired and that you laughed along with me as I laughed at myself this morning. I love being able to sit down with you and share a few moments. I love hearing from you and knowing that you are on the other side of the screen. I love knowing that despite the distance, time and busy lives we lead, we are still connecting. Thank you!
I hope you have a wonderful Thursday (or whatever day you happen to read this on!)