I knew the moment I hit publish on yesterday’s blog that I would regret it. Ugh. Let’s just say that I found myself counting to 90 so many times that I would get to around 30 seconds and have to start over… a lot. Wave after wave of stress and frustration pounded me. I had a verbal eruption here and there that I regretted immediately (of course) only to be followed by another wave of anger. I felt like I was trying to swim in the ocean on that day when the riptide is strong and waves break hard and fast close to shore. You can’t get out past the waves for fear of getting pulled under and so you stay close to shore only to be rocked, pushed and pounded on by the incessant churning of the waves. After a bit of feeling beat up by it all, you just want to get out of the ocean. Forget swimming- go lay in the sun (or under the umbrella in my case) and enjoy the day that way. Swimming isn’t going to fun.
But life isn’t like a day at the beach. Life moves on, things need to happen. I couldn’t just go hibernate in my room until it my emotions settle down. I had to just do the best I could through it (which, I must admit, wasn’t all that great).
Today is the first day of school whether I like it or not. School supplies are unpacked from store bags and packed into school backpacks. Lunch is made. Clothes are clean. These things needed to happen no matter what internal state I was in. Yesterday I counted to 30 seconds, then 45 seconds and sometimes even made it all the way to 90 seconds so many times I lost count.
That is what I get for writing about the Red Zone. I should know better. Today I am going to write about the unmerited grace of God, peace that passes all understanding and love that drives out fear (1 John 4:18).
Yea, bring those on today.
Waves of grace, an ocean of peace and surround me with God’s fearless love.
Bring it on.
And may I not have to count to 90 seconds one time today, please.
May your day be filled with God’s unmerited grace, His transcendent peace and fearless love as well. Amen.