It has been a quiet week, internally that is. It is never (externally) quiet at the Grasso house – unless everyone is asleep. Externally my life is as loud as ever but internally, a quiet has settled over my heart. A resting spirit. I am contemplative by nature but it is not always a quiet meditation type thing. More often than not it is an internal wrestling of sorts. But not this week. This week I have been internally resting, releasing, relishing. I actually was more outwardly active this week than ever before. I went to the gym, did all my classes, went to a bible study, youth group, meetings, I went and went and went. But I did not feel spent or depleted or empty. It was nice.
It is nice.
I think this verse might have settled in and made itself at home in my heart:
“If you’re a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don’t call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it’s something only God can do, and you trust him to do it-you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked-well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift.” (Romans 4:4, 5 MSG)
There are some things I can do. There are things I am supposed to do. I can clean my house ( I don’t like to but I can do it). I can love my husband, hang out with my boys, help with homework. I can go to the office and make copies. I can write and research and study.
But I cannot anoint the words, usher in God’s presence or cause someone to see and be changed by truth. I can speak, love, hug, pray. But only God can cause someone to really hear, receive the love, be reassured by a hug or answer that prayer.
I cannot work so I’ll be perfect for God,
I can rest that He took care of it for me.
I cannot change others,
I can rest that God can.
I cannot “book” myself for speaking engagements,
I can rest that God can put it on the right people’s heart to.
I can be prepared to be used.
I cannot dictate how or when I will be.
There is so much more that could be added to this very personal list. But today I’m not focused on the list. I’ve released the list and focused on resting in God’s arms.
I’m trusting God to do what only God can do. By trusting (not doing) I am set right with God, by God. It feels good to be right with God.
It is my prayer for you. That you stop working for God and begin resting in Him. That you do the things you are supposed to do and release the things you can’t do. That you find joy in the journey and trust God with the destination.
I haven’t said it enough- I am so thankful for you. Thank you for taking a moment to spend with me and read the words I write. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I hope you have a blessed and rested week, my friend.